An Apology and a Promise

by Jonas Weaver

I’ve been thinking about the focus of this blog. About it’s design, layout (which I’ve updated to something far simpler), goal. And while there really is no express goal (as such) I want to focus my writing more. I’ve failed, twice, in abiding by my own standards about blogging. Actually, just by my standards regarding social media. Twice I engaged in the Christian blogosphere. I criticized Matthew Paul Turner in a post that was unfair, harsh, and mocking rather than constructive. The other time I criticized, rightly (I think), the tendency to be bland and inane in Christian blogs. I focused specifically on Rachel Held Evans. Both times were different. In one I was in error, the other I don’t think I was. But both posts have been removed. Not because I’m ashamed. Not because I am upset. Rather, I do not want to engage in little spats within a tiny culture. I’m not interested in (sometimes helpful) but rather bland blog posts. I’m definitely not interested in perpetuating little twitter wars over blog posts that will pass within six months time, or less.

Now, this is not to say I don’t think harm was done by the MPT post in reference. I think he made a lot of people feel unsafe. Mix that post in with the Tony Jones fiasco and you have women not feeling safe in the progressive circles which claimed to make safe space for them. But I can’t, in good conscience, continue the endless tirade of blogs and criticisms. Criticism is rightly placed and used, and ought to be used. I applaud it. It’s what good journalism does: pushes back, discovers, tells a story. It must do so, however, with integrity (the way Rolling Stone handled their reporting of the UVA scandal as an example). It’s what good blogging ought to do. Or, maybe not, since the nature of the blog is such that it just creates echo chambers of hits and shouting. [Note: I am not a journalist, the use of this is simply a comparison to how stories of a serious nature ought to be handled. See this post by Caitlin Flanagan as an example of what I think is good journalism.]

The reason for writing this post is that I am done with using twitter as a tool for litigation. I am done using twitter as a tool to start uproars about bullshit, like the “Christian Cleavage” fiasco. I understand all of the reasons for being mad, I do. But I can’t use twitter like that. So, I won’t. Nor will I use my blog to just call out others in the Christian blogosphere (unless I have an actual, meaningful criticism and not a mockery). That isn’t my interest at all. My blog is for my intellectual pursuits, what I’m thinking through, and sometimes my poetry. And maybe eventually the stories of others if they feel safe enough to share.

So, I apologize for turning this blog into an angry, rant space. I’m going to do better. As a friend told me, (paraphrased and slightly reworded), “Some things are best left in a journal.” I am done being bold for the sake of boldness. I want to to push Christendom where it needs to be pushed, at its underbelly. I don’t want to push on the surface at bloggers. And I definitely do not want to push at what I see as surface issues that describe deeper problems. I want to push against the thinkers of Christendom that stand the test of time, that are shaping conversations now.  That’s where I want to wage my little battles, engaging seriously and effectively. So, I promise to try to do better. To always side with victims. To not give an outcry where my voice isn’t needed. And I will try to care less about the popular Christian blogosphere…especially since they nor I will be remembered when we die. Hopefully, some day I can share stories of survivors. I want to share stories. I want my blog to be a safe space. And I want those stories to be emphasized. But I do not want to weaponize those stories. But for now that is not the focus of this blog. As such, I will leave it to other, better equipped and knowledgable bloggers to raise stories and share them.

[As a former homeschooler and conservative Christian, I am fully aware of the abuse/injustice plaguing those communities. I am specifically concerned about the homeschool community within Denver and how they’re shaping so much of America. The ideologies advanced do harm, do damage, oppress, and are abusive. And I want to combat that at its core. And people within Christian circles are doing so. If requested I can provide a list of resources, and will probably create a page on my blog for resources and links.]