#yolo: Or, Why Carpe Diem is Better
by Jonas Weaver
Reason 1: YOLO makes everyone think you’re obsessed with Twitter or some other social networking sight. Basically, people see you using #yolo in anything and everything and are shouting in their heads, “Get off your dang screen, Jeezus.”
Reason 2: Carpe Diem sounds far more sophisticated. No, really. Instead of #yolo-ing how about you start carpe diem-ing? Carpe Diem also makes you sound like you cared in school which we all know is a load of BS, but it’s better than nothing. And if you’re a homeschooler…well, you might want to stick with #yolo since you took Latin and are most likely worried about the proper use of Carpe Diem.
Reason 3: #yolo can be used as an excuse to justify anything and you still sound stupid. “I murdered my wife…YOLO.” Or, “I raped her…YOLO.” Really guys? That’s going to totally get you off the hook with the judge. Now, reverting back to Reason 2, if you say: “I murdered my wife…so I could carpe diem.” There you’ll sound smart and sophisticated while possibly getting past the judge with your grasp of Latin.
Reason 4: Girls don’t like #yolo. They want to be with you forever and if you go around saying, “YOLO, YOLO,” well, frankly, all the girls are going, “He’s so hot but he’s so depressed.”
Reason 5: I said so.